G
Relationship
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is
broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion,
suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in
separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She
answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB."
There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard
a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my
Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual
trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator
answered ! with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful
marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her
shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that
because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better
husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of
losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around
to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We
should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other
four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested
"I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU
officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite,
humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to
accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go
out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation
and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and
replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind
wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the
husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.
Many! couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of
perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love
wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses.
The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or
demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all
and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the
meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's
character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the
spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be
less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will
either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of
wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget
mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it
would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site.A
worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We
used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire
husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife
of a construction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you
married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these! remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another
man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a
boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?" Upon
hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides
them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of
family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?"
Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the
donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the
man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The
husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they
met ! a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the
weight of two persons. They are cruel to you."
Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey
and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left.
Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They
lost their balance and fell into the river.
You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you.
Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his
home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was
happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck.
The ! man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands
into pulp as punishment.
When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the
doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to
amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.
When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he
innocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but
when are my fingers going to grow back?"
The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next
time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first
before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired..
Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognise the
difference between the person and the performance. We forget that
forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes.! But the actions we
take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is
broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion,
suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in
separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She
answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB."
There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard
a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my
Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual
trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator
answered ! with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful
marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her
shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that
because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better
husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of
losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around
to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We
should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other
four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested
"I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU
officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite,
humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to
accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go
out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation
and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and
replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind
wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the
husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.
Many! couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of
perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love
wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses.
The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or
demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all
and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the
meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's
character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the
spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be
less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will
either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of
wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget
mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it
would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site.A
worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We
used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire
husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife
of a construction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you
married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these! remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another
man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a
boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?" Upon
hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides
them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of
family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?"
Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the
donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the
man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The
husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they
met ! a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the
weight of two persons. They are cruel to you."
Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey
and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left.
Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They
lost their balance and fell into the river.
You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you.
Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his
home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was
happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck.
The ! man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands
into pulp as punishment.
When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the
doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to
amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.
When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he
innocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but
when are my fingers going to grow back?"
The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next
time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first
before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired..
Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognise the
difference between the person and the performance. We forget that
forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes.! But the actions we
take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
